Wednesday, October 22, 2008

October 22,2008

Have you ever noticed that Starbucks is its own culture? Seriously sit by and watch the people that enter the building. 

Starbucks attracts many different kinds of people that stand in line with their nose in the air and a stick in their ass. The only explanation for such barbaric behavior is an inferiority complex that stems from being miserable in their current day lives.

Take the horribly disfigured Marry Poppins for example; she walked into the store with a horrible pink shirt, and some khaki shorts that made her legs look like cottage cheese. Does that sound gross? Just thank God you didn’t see it in person, I had to hold back the vomit in my throat. Her voice was just as worse, it sounded like a cross between a cat being raped by a horse and an American trying to force a British accent.

Marry was probably one of the meanest customers that I have ever seen. She verbally attacked the girl at the counter and said she should fix that look on her face. I find two problems with this request, one the girl can’t help it she’s ugly and two Miss Poppins should remove the mole that holds up her glasses before she makes comments about people’s faces.

The next man seemed innocent enough, but as I watch the counter, I can’t help but notice he walked like a cross between Cro-Magnon man and a T-Rex.  The man has a huge forehead and begins to complain about the coffee that Starbucks has been selling for I don’t know THE PAST THREE MONTHS! After watching this man I can’t help but think my views on euthanasia have changed, people like him need to be treated like a horse, taken out back and put out of their misery.

In regards to Poppins and Cro-Magnon, I’m not judging, I’m just watching. I’m starting to wonder whether or not People watching should be treated like a social science; After all we observe and make conclusions too.

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